


The Idealist and the Pioneer

by astudyinsolitude (taylormicky)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Angst, Depression - implied, Hurt!Steve, M/M, Sexual Orientation, Slow Build, Tony Stark's A+ decision-making skills, UST, doctor-y stuff, on hold but NOT abanded, slooooow build, you've got a while to wait
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-04 10:49:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4134660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylormicky/pseuds/astudyinsolitude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the superserum fails and Steve begins the fight for his life, will Tony be able to keep him alive long enough to tell him how he really feels?</p>
<p>(on hold but not abandoned)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've got ideas down for this but I'm kind of writing it as I go, so bear with me if things take a while. Any and all comments, criticisms, and suggestions are welcome and highly encouraged!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: super-sized bees. If that's not your thing, I'm terribly sorry, but they're not there for long, at least.
> 
> I don't know anything about bees, so likely this would be impossible. But hey, who says how far someone would go if they're already doing genetic modification?

Steve Rogers prided himself on his ability to get along with a multitude of different personalities. Being a leader required that he learn the best ways to handle conflicts between teammates, difficulties with enemies, and all the other situations in between.

But for all his experience, he could, not for the life of him, figure out Tony Stark.

“Be real here, guys, we aren’t going to make an inch of progress until the Queen is taken out. Once the hive mind is gone, these bugs should calm their stingers enough for SHIELD to take care of the rest.” Iron Man was currently blasting a hole through a bee the size of a human torso, the latest deranged creation of yet another person set on taking over the world. The team was doing their best against the flying insects but they were currently having trouble herding the bugs close enough to attack from the ground. Rather than assisting Barton in that endeavor - as Steve had just ordered the engineer to do - Tony Stark had decided that going after the Queen, who appeared to be controlling the bees for the most part, was a better plan.

“Stark! We need you to keep the bees from moving too far away - in case you’ve forgotten, you are the only person on this team who can fly and right now you are needed to contain the swarm before it travels farther toward the civilian population.” Steve was honestly unsurprised by Tony’s daredevil attitude; in the three months they had tried to work together as a team since the Battle of New York, Stark had shown a significant inability to listen to others.

“Sorry Cap, no can do. Back in a minute.” With a final blast to ensure his current foe was down, Iron Man rocketed toward the towering Queen a few blocks away.

Before the supersoldier even had time to form a retort, the Queen buzzed into action against the new threat. Twisting in on herself, she suddenly shot her stinger towards the figure hurtling towards her. While it didn’t appear to breach the armor, the momentum flung Iron Man into the rubble of the nearest building.

Steve’s heart stuttered when no sound came through over the coms. “Stark! Do you copy? Are you injured?”

Silence.

Finally, Hawkeye spoke up. “Captain, this probably isn’t the best time to mention it, but I could really use some help up here!” His desperation was evident; as the only other team member besides Stark who was above ground level, he had far more bees swarming around him.

_Get yourself together, Rogers, this is no time to let personal feelings distract you from the people that need your help_. Calculating quickly, he realized his strength was needed in the heart of the battle; Romanov would be better suited to maneuver out to Tony’s location, no matter how much he wanted to do that job himself. “Alright. Widow, go check on Stark. There’s still no sign of Thor and at this point we need to accept the necessary damages of the Hulk fighting in the close buildings. Coulson, can you maneuver the Quinjet close enough for Banner to drop down?” After a short pause for the agent’s affirmation, Steve turned his attention back to his teammates on the ground.

Natasha’s clipped “Little busy here, Cap!” brought his attention to the most immediate dilemma. Without the advantage of his shield or Barton’s height, she was struggling to hold off the insects swarming around her. Her graceful movements and quick reactions had protected her so far, but she simply couldn’t keep track of that many targets. Steve ran over, distracting three of the bees currently attacking and leaving her free to take out the last two before going after Tony. A roar sounded from above as the Hulk jumped to the ground, vibrations running up Steve’s legs from the impact. The green monster seemed to take a twisted joy out of smashing the bees between his large hands or throwing them into the sides of buildings. Cringing at the damage, Steve forced himself to accept the costs and threw himself into the last round of the battle.

The number of bees flying overhead dropped considerably in the next minute and Steve directed the Hulk towards the Queen, leaving Hawkeye and himself to take out the last of the insects. Despite the trouble she had caused for Tony, the Hulk was able to take down the Queen with little difficulty. And if the Hulk slammed her to the ground a few more times than necessary after her attack on his teammate, well, nobody could really blame the beast.

  
As the team stood trying to recover their breath, a groan sounded over the coms, followed by Natasha’s clipped “Stark is up” as she turned away and walked out towards the rubble in the street. Tony followed a few seconds later with a few choice obscenities about the damage to the suit and missing the last of the battle.  
Steve walked over to the pair, exasperated. “Be glad you weren’t seriously injured, flying off before we were able to assess the enemy.” His initial terror at Tony’s fall had morphed into a shaky anger that he felt immediately guilty for turning on the other man.

“It’s not like we would have been able to actually _do_ any assessing since we could barely see around all the damn insects!” Tony looked ready to continue defending his point even in the face of Steve’s anger, so Natasha stepped between them. “It’s done, let’s just go. I’m going to go get the Hulk.” Lord knows Natasha was sick of player referee between the two men; she was pretty sure she might just kill them both herself since they seemed so hell-bent on doing the same to each other. As she began to calm the Hulk so they could load into the Quinjet, Stark told JARVIS to assess the damages done to the suit as Steve helped Clint collect any arrows he could find from the bees.

  
Once they had settled in and set off, Steve turned to survey his team. Doctor Banner was barely awake, wrapped in a blanket and trying to still the trembling that always wracked his body after a transformation. Agent Romanov and himself were covered in the same amber blood from the bees that Agent Barton was currently cleaning off his scavenged arrows, and all three of them had bruises from defending themselves from the insects. For all his complaints about the suit, Stark appeared to have the least physical injuries of the group and was occupied brushing off the fine layer of dust that had seeped through the suit when he crashed.

Somehow, the sight of the engineer relatively unharmed kindled Steve’s frustration once again. “Stark, you can’t just run off on the team and ignore orders in favor of what you think will work. We caused a lot of damage out there - no offense, Doctor Banner,” his voice gentled briefly at the other man’s grim smile, “ - because you took out a third of the team with your little stunt. You can’t just run off after something you find interesting before we know what it will do!”

Tony broke into the captain’s speech, not even glancing up from where he was typing away on a StarkPad. “Whatever, I hear you, follow orders, be a team player, blah blah blah. Got it!”

Steve scoffed at the other man’s disregard. “This team needs to learn to function together - we’re not effective in battle when everyone is working off different ideas. I honestly think that we need stay together unless otherwise necessary so we can learn to work with each other as a cohesive unit and play off each other’s strengths, so we’re not just individuals out there playing at being a team.” The captain’s voice hardened and cut off as he stalked to the front of the plane to check on their progress.

Natasha raised one slim eyebrow at Steve’s attempts to get through to Tony and continued to clean the amber gunk from her curls as the team flew in silence.

 

===

 

Steve used the time before they arrived at Stark Tower to think over what had occurred in the three months that had passed since the Battle of New York. At Stark’s generosity, most of the Avengers had moved into the Tower after repairs were completed. Bruce had gladly agreed, seeing as he had no reason to return to third-world countries, and he seemed to enjoy the lab space that Tony had given him next to his own. Clint had been exuberant at the chance to live in such wealth and continued to explore the many floors available to them with a child-like glee. Natasha simply drifted in and out of the building, glaring at anyone who dared to question where she wandered off to. Thor was frequently off-world or visiting Jane Foster, but was honored to have a Midgardian residence at which to stay with his fellow teammates.

Steve was the only Avenger who had yet to move in. He was still trying adjust to all the changes that came with being in the future, and the opulence that was Tony Stark just seemed so extravagant. The Army had left him with little time to care about comfort and he was just fine with his little apartment in Brooklyn, thank you very much. He had been to Stark Tower often since the team always went there to recuperate after a battle, but he always left quickly, feeling out of place. Everything seemed so different to him - the poverty of his childhood and harshness of war were so opposite to what little he had seen of the Tower. He’d have to get used to it, he guesses, since he just told the team they needed to stay together.

Everyone seemed so familiar with each other, though. Clint was always plotting some prank to annoy his fellow teammates, always joking around to keep the mood light. Stark was constantly rambling about some new change to the building and always seemed to be tinkering on something to upgrade. He never once stopped to ask anyone’s opinion, just putting in whatever he thought the others would like. Clint was overjoyed at the shooting range that appeared in the training area, but when Tony tried to take Natasha’s Widow’s Bite for some improvements she looked ready to turn the weapon on him. While the engineer’s generosity was surprising, it still felt far too familiar for Steve’s liking.

In the months since the Chitauri invasion, Steve had studied his team, trying to learn their strengths and weaknesses, how they handled conflict, and ultimately, how to get them to function together. He learned that while Banner was working on how to better control the Hulk, he still preferred to be used only when the Other Guy was less likely to cause damage - when their enemy had already done the damage himself, or when they were farther away from populated cities and civilians. He recognized that many times, Clint used humour to try and continue to cope with what Loki had forced him to do while under his power, and the destruction that he had caused. He knew that Thor was still trying to reconcile the brother he grew up next to with the man who had caused so much damage months earlier. The others were surprised when Natasha began working with Bruce to control the Hulk, but Steve remembered her conversation with Loki about the red in her ledger. She knew what is was like to be looked at as merely a weapon; the Red Room had taught her too well.

But with all his observations, Steve could still not understand Tony Stark.

When he looked at the rest of the team, he saw motivations, emotions, decisions, where they would be the most helpful; what they could handle figuring out for themselves, and what he needed to specify that they do. But when he looked at Tony Stark, Steve couldn’t be objective. Instead, he saw the delicacy of Tony’s fingers as he modified the wires of a gauntlet; the way his eyes crinkled when he realized he’d been fooled by one of Clint’s pranks; the way his postured straightened, shoulders thrown back in defiance, when he was about to start another argument. Or the arch of his back as he stretched, yawning, after a particularly long battle and he could barely keep his eyes open. How peaceful he looked when he could no longer stay awake and passed out on the kitchen counter, leaving the rest of the team to simply move around him, smirking at the work still strewn on the table’s surface.

Yes, in the amounts of time he had spent studying the team, Steve Rogers had realized that he was attracted to Tony Stark.

It had come as a bit of a shock, to be honest, when he finally realized. He had three months to come to terms with the fact that homosexuality was no longer a crime in this day and age, that men were even allowed to get married in some states. No, the shock wasn’t from the fact that he was attracted to another man; he had long ago accepted his sexuality. Steve was shocked that he was attracted to a _teammate_ , to someone he had leadership over, to someone who he was _responsible_ for. He knew it was completely irresponsible and that his position as the team’s leader meant that he could never, ever, take advantage of the power he had over Tony Stark.

But that would never actually be an issue, since, obviously, the man was as straight as they come. Seriously, the amount of flirting that Mrs. Potts was subject to on a normal day? Straight as they come.

The worst part was, not matter his attraction to Tony - which, of course, he was far too professional to ever let become an issue - Steve still needed to figure out how to get the man to _listen_.

Maybe this whole working together would help. He’d just have to wait and see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Tony Stark's side of the story. And, Tony really needs to learn boundaries, guys.
> 
> The tags are a sneak-preview of what's to come...
> 
> Special thanks to [Cliophilyra](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Cliophilyra/pseuds/Cliophilyra) for her encouragement. We fanfic authors are needy, needy people, please leave your thoughts in the comments!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark's side of the story. And, Tony really needs to learn boundaries, guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to everyone who expressed their interest in this story so far - you guys are great.
> 
> Warnings for: the many nicknames of Steve Rogers. Though that isn't as much a warning as a moment of Captain America appreciation, honestly. Also, some language.

Tony Stark was so damn _frustrated_.

It’s not like it was exactly his fault, how could anyone ignore the delectable all-American goodness that practically seeped out of Steve Rogers’ pores? It would practically be treason not to admire that.

Really.

But come on, the man really did need to learn how to loosen up.

Okay, yeah, it was probably a stupid decision to go after the Queen. Even he could admit when he was wro- (nope, not gonna happen) ... when sticking to the plan might have been a good idea. But really, they were getting nowhere down on the ground, and how was he supposed to know that she could _shoot stingers_? That isn’t even anatomically possible, of course he wouldn’t be expecting that!

So, yeah, maybe he should have stuck to the plan.

But did the hunk of red, white, and blue attractiveness really need to get so pissy about it?

_Nope, shut up JARVIS, I don’t need a reminder of the past, damn, was it really 7 times that he had given the Capsicle an excuse to yell at him?_

Although, he did look mighty fine all worked up like that...

Ha, worked up though, you know what Steve needed? To get _laid_. Get some au natural stress relief going on there.

Wasn’t there a girl, way back when? Carter, yeah, a Miss Peggy Carter. “You know what, JARVIS? Go ahead and get me a list of personnel at Stark Industries that are similar to Peggy Carter. Let’s find him someone who can knead those buns of liberty, you know what I mean?”

_“Sir, if I may, Captain Rogers has only just agreed to stay at the Tower, and only temporarily. Is it really wise to involve yourself so heavily with his personal life at this point in time?”_

“Not gonna listen to you, JARVIS, just send the list to my StarkPad.”

A brief sigh sounded from the speakers, followed by a soft ping on the tablet Tony was absentmindedly grabbing on his way out of the lab. Seriously, even his AI was giving him sass? Although, given the creator of said AI, really not surprising.

 

===

 

Although exceptionally hungry after another grueling battle and knowing that he should be fueling his body so it could start to heal and prevent more soreness later, Steve really didn’t feel like intruding on the familial scene in the kitchen. He could hear the laughter drifting out towards the living room, the gentle clinking of cookware and utensils as Widow - as Natasha and Clint prepared dinner for the team. Bruce was gently snoring on the counter, eager to be of assistance but still unable to muster the energy to actually follow through. Thor had arrived a few minutes after they landed, expressing his sorrow for missing what must have been a grand battle, and softening his voice to what he must have _thought_ was quiet in respect for Banner’s sleeping form, but which really only reached a normal volume.

It seemed so easy, so simple, to them. Like they had been used to this routine for years, rather than the month or two that it had been common to them.

The more he saw such easy familiarity, the more he felt unable to step in and join.

His eyes dropped to the report he was currently writing up for the battle just passed. The melancholy he felt at his own inability to seek out the presence of those who fought beside him curdled into irritability when he thought back on Tony’s almost-injury, the possibility that he could have been far more hurt than he was simply because he jumped without thinking of where to land.

He couldn’t help that he wanted to make sure the man landed somewhere safe.

Steve’s attention immediately jerked to the kitchen as he heard Thor’s distinctive voice ring out louder. “Man of Iron, my friend! Congratulations on a most worthy battle!”

“Worthy my dick, I missed most of it anyways due to my own stupidity.”

_Did... Did Tony actually admit to maybe being wrong? Then why would he be so brusque to Steve about it? Was he really that far beneath Tony’s care for others?_

“Do not despair, brother, I am sure that any perceived lack of intelligence is easily counterbalanced by your other actions to accommodate your fellow shieldbrothers. Nay, you are one of the most skillful Midgardian billionaires that I know!”

Of course, Thor failed to notice the stifled chuckles at his statement.

Tony grinned, a little sharp. “Alright, big man, I’m gonna assume that was a compliment and thank you for it accordingly. Now, what say we bring this food and enjoy a traditional Midgardian feast!”

As the team filed through the doorway - or stumbled, in Bruce’s case - Steve observed the platters of chicken nuggets, lasagna, and fruit salad that were placed haphazardly across the coffee table. A feast, indeed.

Tony’s babbling shifted to Steve, rattling through the air over the sound of the team digging in to the food presented to them. “Hey, Capitán, you’re looking a little uptight over there - ” _No really, I’m only trying to figure out why you seem to dislike me so much, no reason to be tense_. “ - I’ve got just the thing for you!”

Oh god, another attempt of Tony trying to butt in to everybody’s life. Steve walked over the window, bristling, and attempted to tune out the conversation with no success.

“I know a lot of nice gals who would love to take home the great Captain America for a little romp in the hay, take a load off, you know?”

Natasha glanced between the two men, seriously wondering how Tony couldn’t see the tight lines of muscles roping across Steve’s back as he clenched his hands on the back of a chair, clearly not interested Stark’s particular brand of care-and-share.

“They’re all sweet gals, and you won’t have to worry about leaked sex tapes or anything - not that anyone would fault you for burning off some steam, god knows you do enough for this - ”

Tony cut off abruptly as Steve whipped around, chest heaving, anger seething through his veins. What the hell gave Stark the right to throw women at him like he was some sort of disreputable one-night stand?

Grinding his jaw to keep from chewing out Tony even more, Steve simply bit out the words like daggers. “I’m gay.”

Jaws were slack across the room.

The captain stalked forward, derision clearly evident in his tone, indignation vibrating through his posture. “And you know what, Stark? Thank you, for your shining example of heteronormative assumptions in this _supposedly_ more modern era. But I guess that’s to be expected from a self-proclaimed playboy. Sorry team, I hope you enjoy your dinner, but I will not be staying tonight. I’ll see you for debrief in the morning.” And with that, he stalked out the door, leaving a room of shocked silence behind.

Tony’s voice was the first to break the quiet, words fragmenting through the silence left in the elevator’s departure.

“Fuck you, Rogers, I’m fucking _bisexual_ , you ass!”

 

===

 

Well, obviously that could have gone a whole lot better. Mere hours after his directive for the team to stay together, and here Steve was, pacing the short length of his apartment, dresser to bed to bathroom to bed on endless repeat. What a great leader he was, indeed.

Honestly, most of his irritation was aimed at himself. He _knew_ going into this that Tony got over-involved in people’s lives; and it’s not like Steve ever gave any clues about his sexuality. It was just so frustrating to stand there and listen to the man he was hopelessly attracted to trying to shove him into the same mold that never, ever fit. Not that he had any right to be offended, to feel rejected - he held no claim over Tony Stark’s relationships. He had only himself to blame for being unable to deal with the situation effectively, for forgetting his duties as a leader and simply following his own petty emotions.

Really, he had dug his own grave here, no help needed, thank you very much.

Steve figured that he should get back to the team, apologize for his appalling lack of courtesy to at least follow his own damn rules.

But it could wait till morning, really, they would all have clearer heads.

And maybe, maybe he could forget for a while the disappointment he would see about failing, once again, to live up to what he needed to be for this team.

 

===

 

It was the next morning, following a fitful night of half-dozed tossing on his rickety bed, that his world fell apart.

Shield in hand, absently polishing the sharp lines of color while desperately trying to decide exactly how to explain his actions from the night before, Steve noticed a strange and disturbing hiss in the air.

_Huh? Wha’s-it doin?_

Before he could even try to discover why his head felt so fuzzy, he was thrown violently backward, shattering the glass of the window behind him and falling, disoriented, to the ground eight stories below.

He felt his right shoulder wrench savagely wrong on impact, bone shattering in his arm and head slamming into the concrete.

Then, black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha I'm so sorry... 
> 
> Up next: Thor is heartily confused, and Clint takes it upon himself to enlighten the god.
> 
> As previously stated, all comments, suggestions, and thoughts are more than welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is heartily confused, and Clint takes it upon himself to enlighten the god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fortunately for me, I finally get to start my internship on monday (yay for paychecks!). Unfortunately for all you lovely readers, I probably won't have as much time to write so I don't know how consistently I will be able to update. So, thank you in advance for your patience :)
> 
> Also, I just realized in the plotting for chapters 5+ that I left a HUGE plot hole that I have to deal with, and so basically this fic will not be canon compliant for, like, the vast majority of Marvel movies. Hopefully not SUPER major things, but I will be changing some storylines pretty significantly. Just a head's up!
> 
> Warnings for: repeat of language from last chapter.

“Fuck you, Rogers, I’m fucking _bisexual_ , you ass!”

As the broad, very nice shoulders of Captain America stalked out of the room, elevators closing moments later, Tony Stark’s breath shot out in an exhale that definitely didn’t - that was not a squeak, it was a _forceful exhalation of air_ \- as he quickly replayed the past few moments of conversation.

Okay, so maybe his PR team had done an exceptionally good job at keeping under wraps his trysts of the more male persuasion, and of course they did, why else would he be paying them? But _oh_ , if Steve Rogers ever thought for a second that Tony in any way, shape, or form fit into _heteronormativity_...

Obviously, Steve had done some research, the little minx, if that flashy vocabulary was any indication. And, yep, since they were on the subject of heteronormativity, this would be a stunning example of bi-erasure, wouldn’t it now?

_Oh, poor Captain, your research has only started._

 

===

 

After no small amount of pacing, accompanied by Bruce’s gentle commands to _just sit down and eat dinner, dammit Tony you’re just getting in the way_ , as well as Natasha’s death glares any time he came between the table filled with food, Tony finally collapsed into a chair and started eating. And, well, if the silence was occasionally punctured by small huffs and far-off glares that appeared to be commentary to some internal discussion in Tony’s head, then nobody at least pointed it out to him.

After a few minutes of awkward silence and the sound of utensils, Thor’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What is this ‘gay’ that our Captain was so angry about?”

Clint choked a little as laughter and pasta fought for dominance before coughing a few times to cover the frankly girlish giggle that escaped. “Oh man, this is too great. Alright, I got this.”

Hopping onto the back of the couch - because seriously, where else would he be able to crouch to observe the room and still be close to the food? - Barton gave a smile that might have been a bit too sharp around the edges with glee.

“So, people who are heterosexual, or straight, like you Thor - hopefully, god, _are_ you straight? - want to bump uglies with the opposite gender.” Bruce’s groan filtered through the hand currently covering his face as Clint continued. “Then you’ve got the gays, or homosexuals, like our dear Captain, who like people of the same gender. Bisexuals like Tony here - isn’t this a coming-out party tonight - like people of _both_ genders, and no wonder your parties were so popular, Stark. Then you’ve also got asexuals, who aren’t sexually attracted to anyone, and then the whole gray-ace spectrum, and then it gets even _more_ complicated when you throw in the genderqueer labels, and - “

“ _All right_ , Barton, jesus, are you trying to kill the guy? We got the point, there’s a whole lot of other labels and identities out there that don’t get enough publicity, but really, now isn’t the time to go over all that. Just let the poor guy figure out this part of Midgardian culture first.” Tony looked over at Thor and could practically see the gears turning over in the god’s head.

“So, gay is just the term Midgardians use for men whose life battle-partners are other men?”

The small chorus of Clint’s “Okay, not _exactly_ , and what does that even mean?” and Tony’s “You know what, that’s probably close enough; sure, big guy” was drowned out by Thor’s next words.

“Such men are honored on Asgard! I have fought bravely beside such batttle-pairs and have witnessed their devotion in the many halls of Valhalla. That is nothing for our Captain to be angry over?”

Bruce interjected to try and settle the room before the chorus of voices could start up again. “I think that Steve was angry because we just assumed that his, as you say, life battle-partner, would be female. Plus, Tony can be a bit overbearing, especially to a man out of his time.” Stark studiously ignored the sharp look sent his way by Bruce and - seriously Natasha, you too?

“Alright, so obviously there was a bit of misunderstanding, but does it make it better if I say I was only trying to help?” Tony flinched slightly as a chorus of no’s reached him. “Okay, fine, let me just finish dinner and then see if I can, I don’t know, fix this or something.”

As Bruce quietly mentioned that maybe the morning might be better, to make sure tempers were settled all around, the team finally settled into a comfortable silence as the remaining food quickly disappeared from the table.

 

===

 

At 7:09 the following morning, JARVIS became aware of a disturbance at Captain Rogers’ Brooklyn apartment. After the failure to make contact with the Captain himself or with the monitoring devices located in the apartment, JARVIS immediately notified Master Stark and The Team that their leader was likely in danger and in need of assistance.

As the rest of the Avengers scrambled into gear, Tony ran out to the deck as JARVIS immediately began suiting up the armour, taking off before the others were able to notice just how much his hands were shaking.

 _Dammit Steve, why the hell did you have to pick_ now _to get your ass blown up? And why the hell weren’t you at the Tower in the first place, you dumbass?_

The guilt he felt over his role in pushing Steve to where he needed to retreat to his apartment didn’t really help the situation either.

As he wove between buildings, gradually drawing closer to where he expected to see the Captain fighting off whatever new attack was waiting for them, his worry spiked at the deadly calm that was settled in the air. What the hell were they about to face?

Barely hearing the warnings as JARVIS picked up a toxic substance in the air, switching to oxygen re-uptake filtering, Tony’s heart dropped the rest of the way down as he finally saw Steve’s prone body in the rubble of concrete, unmoving.

_“Steve?!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, I'm such an evil person, but I swear that the next chapter will finally talk about what happened to poor Steeebe.
> 
> Also, a lot of different terms were glossed over in this chapter relating to sexual and gender identity. If you or someone you know is questioning or if you just want to learn more, please feel free to talk with me or visit some of these websites:
> 
> http://safespacenetwork.tumblr.com/define  
> http://www.yoursexualorientation.info  
> https://lgbtq.unc.edu/asexuality-attraction-and-romantic-orientation
> 
> As always, any questions, comments, and death threats are highly encouraged.
> 
> Up Next: The aftermath of the attack on Steve.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the attack on Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I understand that in canon, this wouldn't really happen (Steve basically did this same fall in Winter Soldier and was relatively unscathed). I'm assuming between whatever drug was initally used & Steve being completely unprepared for the fall, that's caused the severity of the injuries you'll see below. Any of my hand-waving that can't be attributed to that can be considered literary license :) Thank you for your patience with my little ideas!
> 
> Also, so sorry for the long wait for this chapter, but I'm finally starting to settle into my new job and I didn't even start writing again until a few days ago! Thanks for your patience!
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings for: Language, and graphic depictions of Steve's injuries. I tried not to make things TOO gross, but, he's really hurt. Also, my apologies for not placing warnings for language in the previous chapter(s). Those have been corrected and should hopefully all warnings will be noted correctly in future chapters.

_pain ... dizziness ... battle? ... Move, Rogers, just get up and move!_

Steve came staggeringly back to conscious, noticing most importantly that his head was pounding brutally and his shoulder was most definitely not where it was supposed to be. As he finished his internal check, he tried to pay attention to his surroundings. _Where ... what happened?_

Steve noticed that someone was calling his name, sounding far off. He cracked open his eyes, squinting at the grey concrete and fine dust underneath him.

Suddenly, the fog surrounding his brain lifted, slamming him fully into the sensations of his body and bringing him back to full awareness.

_“Steve!”_ Okay, that definitely sounded a lot closer than he though. Turning his head slightly, he saw Iron Man kneeling in the rubble next to him, sounding frantic as he checked Steve’s pulse. “Oh thank god, Steve, your heart nearly stopped for a minute there, how are you feeling? And what the _hell_ were you thinking coming back here and getting yourself blown up? We need to get you to the Tower and figure out how someone was able to hurt you bad enough that you _passed out and nearly had a heart attack_! JARVIS, prep the med room in Banner’s lab space for our arrival ... ”

Steve tuned out Tony’s frantic babbling and groaned sharply, rolling onto his back to get out of the indentation left in the concrete from his fall, then immediately regretted his decision as gravity pulled at his injured shoulder. He curled up on his left side, sheltering his right arm and trying to ignore how his breath came in pants and soft moans.

“Oh, god, that is definitely at least a dislocated shoulder, and actually that is really quite disgusting?” Tony’s voice got a bit shrill at the end as he maneuvered around to Steve’s front to find the best place to pick up the soldier. “Okay, this is really going to hurt and I don’t know what else to do so I’m really sorry, Steve. Just hold on, okay big guy? We’re gonna get this figured out, I swear.”

Tony’s babble did little to distract Steve from the pain shooting through his shoulder as he was settled against the arms of the suit and then flown to the Quinjet where it hovered two blocks over. The babble, however, continued as he was settled onto the hard floor and the rest of the team crowded around him.

“What the fuck happened to his fucking shoulder?” was Clint’s disgusted comment as they all gaped at the clearly injured area. Steve’s right arm seemed to sit a full half inch under his back and his arm was twisted outward uncomfortably.

Bruce was quickly moving around the soldier, checking his vitals and looking for any further injuries before settling on Steve’s right side and inspecting the injured area, muttering half to the audience around him and half to himself. “It’s an anterior dislocation of the right shoulder with, let’s see, a likely glenohumeral joint dislocation and a possible scapular fracture. These are causing extreme pain and swelling and, due to the bruises already starting to form, the fracture is highly likely. Steve?” Bruce spoke louder now, leaning forward to try and capture the soldier’s drifting attention. “Steven, are you currently experiencing an aching sensation in your head, dizziness, nausea?”

Steve groaned out softly, “Yeah, all of the above.”

Frown lines deepened on the doctor’s brow as he turned to Tony. “Did he experience any loss of consciousness while you were loading him up?”

“Yeah, he was pretty far under when I found him, and I was actually worried for a second that his heart was going to give out, it was stuttering so oddly. He got a little clearer except when he tried to move, and I think he might have passed out for a few second on the flight over to you guys, I’m not sure.”

“Alright, so likely he has a concussion as well as trauma to the scapula. Steve?” Bruce snapped his fingers in front of the soldier’s face, trying to draw his attention back. “I need you to try and move your arm forward, okay? It might hurt, but if you can do it on your own that means your shoulder is in better shape than if I need to fix it for you.”

Steve nodded once and took a breath before gritting his teeth and trying to lift his right arm. He groaned, neck arching as he struggled to move his shoulder.

Bruce interrupted with a sharp, “Okay, stop!” as Steve’s breath heaved, stuttering shakily as his face tightened. “I think you’re gonna have to put it back in, Doctor, I can’t move my arm at all.”

“Alright, Steven, just stay still for a minute and slow your breathing and I’ll be back in a moment, okay?” The doctor moved out of Steve’s vision, showing Thor, Clint, and Tony huddled on the opposite side of the carrier to give Bruce the space he needed to treat his patient. Suddenly Natasha appeared above Steve’s head, hand soft on the side of his face as she brought up her gear belt, bare of supplies and folded in half, in front of his face. “Open up, lyubov, this will keep you from grinding your teeth down so much when Bruce gets back.” As she helped him bite down on the belt, Thor came around his left side and braced himself above Steve, one forearm resting solidly one Steve’s chest and the other on his uninjured arm as his his knee pressed down on Steve’s shins. “I am truly sorrowful for the hurt you have experienced, shieldbrother, but I will do my best to keep you from further injury as the good doctor repairs your shoulder.”

Steve gave a solemn nod at the god’s words and turned questioning eyes on Doctor Banner as he settled next to the injury and reviewed what he would be doing. “I’m going to re-seat your humerus back into the scapula, but it’s going to be pretty painful for you. I want you to bite down as hard as you need, thrash as much as you need, to deal with that pain. Okay?”

Steve closed his eyes, bracing himself.

Without warning, Bruce pulled sharply on his arm, forcing it back into it’s proper location in his shoulder. Steve slammed his head into the floor of the jet, back arching as he screamed in the agony shooting from his arm.

Thankfully, he lost consciousness for the third time that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, all thoughts, comments, and death threats are appreciated :) I swear it gets better for a bit in the next few chapters before the plot picks up again.
> 
> Up Next: Bruce's bedside manner, and Steve's inherent need to hold himself to a high standard.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce's bedside manner, and Steve's inherent need to hold himself to a high standard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading this fic, and I'm so sorry for taking this long to update. My life has been crazy lately (as you might have heard if you follow me on [my tumblr](http://astudyinsolitude.tumblr.com)).
> 
> Warnings for: swearing.

When Steve finally swam back into consciousness, he took a brief inventory of his injuries. While his body still felt bruised and battered and his shoulder still throbbed sharply in discomfort, the pain had at least lessened slightly from its previous level, and was leagues more manageable than the pain of resetting his arm. However, he appeared to have a massive headache that, he realized a few seconds later, must have registered on his face since suddenly someone was at his side, calling his name.

He slowly opened his eyes, squinting in preparation for a brightly lit medical facility, but was instead met with an unfamiliar, dimly-lit room and the anxious face of Tony Stark above him.

“Steve? Ohmygod you’re awake now, how are you feeling? And what the hell were you thinking giving us all a scare like that? Anyway, we - well, Bruce and I - did our best to make you comfortable but unfortunately pain meds don’t work on you, and while I could’ve ordered a crap-ton to be delivered we’d have to keep them on a practically constant drip that really could get uncomfortable for you and the side effects haven’t been studied so I didn’t - ”

His ramblings were cut off by the gentle voice of Doctor Banner, already used to ignoring Stark when he got sidetracked off the point. “What Tony was trying to say, is that we can’t really help with the pain right now, but we brought you back to the Tower and set you up in a section of the lab space that was set aside in case an emergency like this ever came up. The lights are dimmed right now since we believe you have a concussion and the light would be extremely discomforting right now. Back to the original question though, Steve - how are you feeling?” Bruce shone a light into Steve’s eyes as he continued. “Head, neck, or back pain? Does it radiate?” He paused to put the light away, seemingly satisfied, or at least unsurprised, by his findings.

Steve set his face in an expression that he hoped was calm appraisal but probably was more of a stoic grimace, if the headache was any indication. “Well, my shoulder doesn’t hurt quite as much as when I woke up, probably since it’s back where it needs to be, but my head feels a lot worse right now.” He shifted uncomfortably at particularly painful throb, pressing his head further into the pillow as if that would relieve the discomfort in his skull. “It’s sort of throbbing?” He tried to answer Banner’s questions. “And moving down into my neck, I guess.”

Dr. Banner’s bedside manner kept his face from showing much reaction, but his eyes betrayed his sorrow at not being able to do any more to help. “That is likely a side effect from the concussion. While there doesn’t seem to be any major external signs like bruising around the eyes or ears, a lot of your symptoms - especially your changes in consciousness on the Quinjet - are pointing to a concussion so that’s our working theory right now. We need to monitor you for the next two hours to make sure you don’t pass out on us again, and then whoever is with you will have to wake you up every couple of hours for the first day. Other than that, we will just have to wait for your body to take care of itself. I haven’t noticed your shoulder healing much, but again, that might just be another symptom of the concussion, which is probably a priority for the serum at the moment. Do you have any questions for us?”

Steve tried to refocus on Bruce’s words but realized that he missed most of the conversation, so he simply replied in the negative and trusted that his teammates knew what they were doing.

In the meantime, he needed to apologize for his actions the previous night, the furious outburst that should never have happened.

As Tony and Bruce were collecting their gear from where it was haphazardly strewn in a corner of the room, Steve cut into their conversation with a firm voice. “Mr. Stark? I have some things I’d like to discuss with you, if you could please stay for a few moments.”

Tony looked surprised, but shrugged it off with his trademark nonchalance. “Sure thing, boss, I’ll just take the first shift on Rogers-watch to make sure you don’t slip into a coma or something while you sleep. Let me just put this stuff away and I’ll be right back.” He indicated the gear-bag in his hands and then walked rapidly out of the room, apparently not as nonchalant as he seemed at the prospect of a ‘discussion’ with the Captain.

Bruce gave Steve a half-smile, half-grimace and instructions to stay in bed overnight to heal up properly, before following Tony out the door.

 

===

 

After taking his gear all the way up to the penthouse, which - he tried to persuade himself - was not an attempt to delay the inevitable, Tony finally made his way back down to the injured supersoldier waiting to talk to him. If Steve’s tone earlier was anything to go by, he was about to get chewed out. Again. God, why couldn’t he just have kept his stupid mouth shut instead of butting into the life of the one man who still hadn’t adjusted to being a part of the team, let alone a part of this century?

As he entered the med room built into a back corner of the lab, he noticed the lines of strain written on Steve’s face. With the kind of injuries he had sustained and without any pain meds, the guy must have been in mild agony. Damn if Steve did his best not to show it.

Flopping down into the bedside chair with an air of indifference he didn’t actually feel, Tony just wanted to get this conversation over and done with. “Alright, good captain, what’s up?”

Steve shifted a bit, settling himself in for what was probably going to be a really not-fun conversation.

“Stark, I need to apologize for my completely unprofessional behavior yesterday. I was out of line to take my frustrations out on you and the rest of the team, and I just want you to know that will never happen again. I hope to be a better example to this team than my actions have shown thus far.”

 _Wait, what?_ Did Mr. Perfect-Pants literally call him in just to _apologize?_ Wow. So much for the chewing-out that he’d expected.

Tony look quizzically at Steve. “Wait, so, you seriously think you need to apologize for that? I mean, it was a little unexpected, granted, but seriously, everyone has outbursts man. Get off your high fucking horse if you think you’re supposed to be some shining, perfect example for this team - because damn if your reputation doesn’t already do that for you. And really, you think I’m going to judge you - me, the fucking king of poorly-timed outbursts? I’m still a little uptight that you thought in any way I would be espousing heteronormativity. Seriously, I’m bisexual, that is literally the _last_ word that should be used to describe me.”

Steve’s head shot up in surprise at the last sentence. “Wait, you’re bi? How have you managed to keep that out of the papers?”

Tony snorted. “Pepper. Honestly, that woman is a complete life-saver. Well, her and my team of seriously expensive lawyers, trust me, you do not ever want to get on their bad side. They even scare me sometimes, the cutthroats. So don’t think about spreading rumors, mister.” Tony jokingly wagged a finger at Steve, trying to lighten the mood.

Steve raised a hand in mock surrender, wincing a bit as the movement jostled his injured arm. “Wouldn’t dare. So, you and Pepper aren’t dating, then?”

“Oh god no, that woman is one hell of a CEO and far too good for the likes of me. No way would I want to jeopardize that, eh? Plus, I’m far too partial to one-night stands to be the kind of man she would want.” And there he goes, baring his soul to the man he’s been attracted to from the first time they argued on the stupid Helicarrier. Great fucking job, Stark.

Steve shrugged. “Makes sense. Never would have guessed, from the way you two act around each other.” He gave Tony a small smile.

The two men sat looking at each other in the mildly awkward silence that followed.

Suddenly, Tony had a thought. “Well, since you have to stay up for two hours anyway, per the good doctor’s orders, we might as well pass the time. You’ve read all about my life, tell me a bit about yours. So you and Bucky were, like, the ultimate best buds, right? Tell me about him.”

Steve’s eyes were suddenly haunted, staring far away as he remembered his past. “Bucky... He was the best man I ever knew.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for hanging in thus far! Y'all get one more fluffy chapter before the plot begins to pick up again, so I hope you enjoy.
> 
> As always, all thoughts, suggestions, and questions are welcomed and appreciated :)
> 
> Up next: Steve reflects on fond (and not-so-fond) memories from his past.

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to everyone who has been reading thus far, you guys are awesome. I am, unfortunately, insanely busy right now with school and various illnesses, and I don't know when I'll be able to update this next. Fear not, it will not be abandoned! I have ideas drafted for the next few chapters and have plotting through chapter 17ish, so hopefully I will be able to start writing more once I get through this crazy semester at uni. While it may take a while, I promise there will be more updates in the future! In the meantime, feel free to stop by and visit my [tumblr](http://astudyinsolitude.tumblr.com) where you'll find a collection of various Marvel & other fandom crack and the occasional inane comment or two.


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